Before I Wake by Brett Halliday
Written by PulpoftheDay on November 18th, 2009
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18
AM
Wake up and start your day with Crystal Meth ! (If you experience rapid tooth decay, gaping sores, psychotic disturbances, or the perception of insects crawling through the pores of your skin: see your doctor.)
18
AM
Before I wake: Dream.
After I wake: Shave.
18
AM
“Oh, God, I really did make a tape with Carrie Prejean, didn’t I?”
18
AM
“Wait, Tom, I don’t think I turned the kitchen stove off before we left!”
18
AM
You paid how much for those Brittany Spears concert tickets?!!!
18
AM
“Last night, I dreamt I went to Manderley again, and I could not enter for the way was barred to me by a hissing goat skull!”
18
PM
“It’s all me, baby!”
19
AM
“What the…? Get out of my bedroom! Damn cover artists…”
25
PM
And the clown face was left on her pillow, the principal problem of going to bed with your makeup still on.